Anything Parenting

Friday, November 23, 2007

Discipline Needs To Be Established By Both Parents

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It is hard enough to discipline children these days, but when the child no they can play on parent against the other, new issues arise. Both parents, whether married or divorced need to follow the same rules and discipline in the same way. Sending missed signals can only lead to confusion in the child. It can also cause more problems as they get older. If a child is allowed to do things with one parent, but the other parent does not allow it, children become confused and start to feel that one parent is easier than the other is.

You have now created a monster of deceit. If you say no and the other parent is a yes person, the child will learn to run to the other parent to get permission while avoiding listening to you. Both parents have to have the same habits of discipline and an understanding of what the child can and cannot do. This is where parents make the mistake. Mediation is a good thing for discussing the issues pertaining to children. A third party can always help both parties understand the importance of effective parenting.

Just because the child is from a divorced family does not mean they should have special treatment. Some parents over compensate for not being the full time parent by allowing the child to have their way. This just encourages bad behavior and does not teach the right values. If a child is having a tantrum about visiting a parent. Talk to them and explain that they need to see the other parent and they can see you when they return home. Maybe they could call you if that helps. Never agree to let the child make the visitation rules.

Teenagers may be a bit different with visitation. As they get older, they can make their own decision about visitation. If they have friends and activities going on, they may choose to skip visitation. This is going to be their choice, as they grow older. You cannot force a teenager to visit the other parent. They are almost an adult and do have different choices. Keep thing simple by agreeing to discipline, rules and responsibilities. Divorce can be civil and easy if both parents take the time to work together for the sake of the children. No one needs stability more than a child does.

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