Anything Parenting

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thing To Do And Not To Do As A Divorced Single Parent

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Your children are a victim of divorce just as much as you are. The one thing to remember is you are the adult and they are the child. Do not confide in your child about issues pertaining to your fight or disagreement with the other parent. The issues need to be resolved without involving the children. Some single parents relay unfavorable information to the child, putting them in the middle where they have no business being.

Do be civilized to the other parent. You can only hold a grudge for so long. Children need to know that both parents love them and they do not to see the two of you bickering all the time. If you have a child support check to give to the custodial parent, deliver it yourself. Do not have the children involve themselves with any part of the divorce settlement. All this does is cause a rift between the children and the offending parent.

Keep arguments out of earshot of the children. They probably heard enough when you were married or together. Children are a creature of habit and can pick up bad examples if allowed to see petty arguing between parents. If you have issues with each other, discuss it in private, not in front of the children. Never make a child choose between parents, you might lose.

You are the adult and you need to take care of the children first and then worry about discussions with the other parent. Even if you hate each other, you need to make every effort to do things together for the sake of the children. This includes PTA meetings, school activities and all activities that the child participates in. Tuck your hate away and enjoy the day with the child. It is not for you to enjoy, the child needs to have both parents involved in their life.

It may be hard to be civil to each other, but if you do not try, the children are the only ones who suffer. Yelling and sabotaging the other parent in front of the children is just wrong. Even if you feel the ex is a pain. You still have to be nice, well calm anyway, when interacting with each other in front of the children. Never show or express jealousy over how much time the children spend with one parent. It is what they want and you should respect that if you want to be respected by them.

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